Loneliness is more than just being alone—it’s a quiet epidemic that’s affecting millions, even as we live in a world where we’re constantly connected online. In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General called attention to this growing issue, labeling loneliness as a new, insidious epidemic in America. This isn’t just about people not having friends; it’s about the deep, aching absence of genuine, meaningful relationships in our lives.
We might be texting, tweeting, and scrolling all day long, but that digital buzz doesn’t replace the warmth of face-to-face interaction. In-person community, those real connections where we feel seen and heard, are harder to come by. It’s a sad irony: we’re connected to more people than ever, yet so many of us feel more isolated and alone.
There’s an important distinction to make here between being alone and being lonely. Being alone can be a choice—a time to recharge, reflect, and enjoy your own company. It’s a space where you can cultivate deep connections with others and still value your time in solitude.
Chronic loneliness, on the other hand, is a different beast. It’s a persistent feeling of isolation, even when you’re surrounded by people. It’s like being on an island, cut off from meaningful human connection, unable to bridge the gap between yourself and the world around you. This kind of loneliness is not just a fleeting emotion; it’s a serious issue that can affect mental health and overall well-being.
“With loneliness, you may harbor strong feelings of socialization but go without satisfying human intimacy for days, weeks, months, or years. Being alone without a community can cause suffering, sadness, silence, and pain.” ~Julie Nguyen, certified relationship coach and freelance mental health writer.
Signs Of Chronic Loneliness
If you’re struggling with chronic loneliness, you might notice some of these other subtle signs:
- Lack of affection and warmth
- Low mood and energy
- Cognitive decline
- Sleep problems
- Weight problems such as excess weight gain
- Lack of physical activity
- Poor physical health
- Pain in joints and body
- Impulse control problems such as shopping
- Marathoning TV shows or movies
- Unhealthy diet
- Substance abuse
- Cyclical thoughts
- Negative thinking and anxiousness
- Depressive symptoms such as unhappiness, pessimism
- Feelings of worthlessness and abandonment
Causes of Chronic Loneliness
Chronic loneliness can stem from various causes. According to research, these include:
Situational loneliness occurs when you experience an event in the environment such as a personal conflict, significant move, career change, accident, disaster, or pandemic.
Developmental loneliness happens when you experience a physical or psychological event such as inconsistent home lifestyles, poverty, developmental problems, painful losses of someone important, or have a mental, physical, or intellectual disability.
Internal loneliness manifests when you experience an internal event such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, or faulty coping strategies.
Impacts of Loneliness
- Dementia
- Stress
- Alzheimer’s disease
- High blood pressure
- Heart disease
- Stroke
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Obesity
- Suicide
- Substance use disorder
- Personality disorders
- Premature death
Overcoming Loneliness
You can take simple and effective steps to bring more care and affection into your life:
- Give yourself grace. It’s critical to understand that chronic loneliness can create negative beliefs about yourself and your worth as an individual, preventing you from seeking connection. This may create a self-fulfilling prophecy and further isolate you from others. Try focusing on what you like about yourself and looking for good things in your interaction. It’s OK if this takes time too.
- Build in self-care. To move out of loneliness, it’s important you believe you are worthy of connection. This can look like taking care of yourself with proper sleep, nutrition, and enjoying the outdoors. Joining a gym or community group can help with social isolation and your physical health while promoting social connectedness.
- Open up to loved ones. Reach out to people in your life who can hold space with you. Don’t worry about being put together, happy, or perfect in order to see someone. Simply being yourself, in any emotional state, is enough for people to love and appreciate. Changing your approach can open your life up to heart-opening moments filled with joy and connection.
- Find little moments. When you’re out at the store, strike up a conversation with the cashier. Build a connection with someone whenever you pick up your groceries. Or try out a new class or activity and engage with a friendly face. Over time, these small actions compound, which boosts your mood and sense of being seen. Connection doesn’t always have to be big. It can be incremental and with a variety of people to foster a sense of community.
- Volunteer and caregive. Becoming a part of your neighborhood and mutual aid efforts can connect you with others who uphold your values and create a link you already know you have in common. It’ll give you a sense of broader perspective, identity, and accomplishment knowing you are doing good.
- Get a pet. Animal therapy can positively help with loneliness. Pets can provide you with human touch, consistency, affection, and help with social isolation since you’ll need to get out of the house to take care of them.
- Seek a therapist. Talking to a therapist can help improve the perception of your loneliness and provide you with tools, techniques, accountability, and support as you connect with others.
In a world where loneliness has become an unspoken epidemic, recognizing its subtle symptoms and understanding its root causes is the first step towards healing. While chronic loneliness can be overwhelming, there are simple and effective ways to invite more care and affection into your life. By reaching out, building genuine connections, and taking small steps towards nurturing relationships, you can transform isolation into a sense of belonging and well-being. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey—support is within reach, and change is possible.
