Interacting with a narcissist can be deeply damaging to your mental health because they often manipulate, gaslight, and devalue others to maintain control and feed their ego. Their lack of empathy and constant need for validation can make you question your self-worth, leaving you feeling drained, anxious, and emotionally unstable. Over time, this toxic dynamic can lead to self-doubt, depression, and a loss of personal boundaries, making it essential to recognize the signs and protect your mental well-being.
How to Respond to a Narcissist
- Stay Calm and Composed
- Keep Your Responses Brief
- Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
- Get Them to Commit to Things in Writing
- Remember That Their Behavior Isn’t Your Fault
“Remember that none of their behavior is your fault, even if you’ve made some kind of mistake.”
— AIMEE DARAMUS, PSYD
10 Things to Say to Disarm a Narcissist
List compiled by Verywell Mind
- “That doesn’t work for me.”
Narcissists may try to make decisions for you without consulting you. It’s important to speak up for yourself and let them know if you’re not OK with what they’ve decided.
- “I can understand how you feel, but I feel differently.”
You don’t need to try to prove who is right or wrong. You can feel and see a situation differently and that’s fine. Trying to prove your point will give them more ammunition to use against you.
- “I don’t see myself that way.”
Often, narcissists will try to make themselves feel better by making you feel negatively about yourself. It’s important that you stay strong in what you believe is true.
- “I remember it differently.”
This is especially important when you’re being told by a narcissist that you might be imagining something or that it never happened. Let them know that you remember what really happened so they can’t manipulate events. Don’t let them make you doubt yourself.
- “I will only have a conversation with you about this if you’re willing to listen and try to understand my perspective.”
Setting boundaries for the conversation upfront can help ensure that the conversation is more respectful. Otherwise, you don’t have to discuss that particular subject with them.
- “I’m not going to explain why this is important to me but it is.”
Sometimes, we need to put a boundary in place with a narcissist but we have to be mindful that when we explain why, it gives them an opportunity to manipulate or gaslight us. In such situations, you can uphold what’s important to you without giving big explanations.
- “I’m not willing to talk about that.”
If a narcissist brings up a subject that they know you don’t want to talk about, it’s important to assert that you’re not willing to engage with them. You don’t have to justify your reasons for not wanting to discuss it.
- “If you continue to speak to me like that, I will walk away.”
If the conversation is becoming toxic, you need to make it clear that you will not tolerate their disrespect. State your boundaries clearly but firmly.
- “I’m going to step away from this conversation.”
It’s important to stick to your boundaries. Realize when you need to disengage and step away to get clarity.
- “Thank you for inviting me, but I’m not available.”
If you want to sever contact with the narcissist, politely but firmly let them know that you’re not available or interested.
When confronted with a narcissistic individual, remember to prioritize your mental well-being by setting clear boundaries and protecting your emotional space. Use the 10 tips outlined in the blog post to help navigate these difficult interactions while maintaining your sense of self and peace. Staying mentally healthy means knowing when to step back, assert your needs, and avoid getting drawn into their toxic behavior. Always choose relationships that uplift and respect you.
